Location: Crooked Billet Conservation Area - Wimbledon Common.
Weather: Almost time to cut the legs off of your corduroy.
Extreme Rating: **
Dangers & Annoyances: Balls knocking over your ale. Kids' attraction to glistening Boules.
Consumables: Cask ale and Roast dinners.
Result:
D. Woolridge: 11
B. Martin (aka Balance Boy): 6
M. Hopkins: 6
Match Report:
Amongst families, wombles and spilt ale. The players looked calmer than perhaps they should considering the leader-board this season. The three played strongly, their boules shiny and their aims true. Martin, particularly wowed the crowds with a new (futuristic) move; the Hadoken. Possibly derived from an ancient Japanese Boules technique in which the player defies gravity by levitating into the air, with a full rotation of the arm (concentrating your force on the Brachioradialis muscles) drive the Boule with such force into the ground that it embeds in the earth wherever it lands. (similar to the existing "DIG IN" technique, preferred by a port drinker). Martin practiced his new technique with varying degrees of success. This new move however was no match from the calm and focused power of Woolridge, apparently back on form, which nobody there expected to see. (Woolridge was quoted after the match in admitting holding the child of your opponent gives you some sort of spiritual power over them, and that Martin never stood a chance). Hopkins' flamboyant style that he is famous for was almost non-existent in this match. With most of his moves looking similar to if he was just emptying his pockets. A fine match.
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