Social Distancing Extreme Boule

Exciting Extreme Boule news from Scotland where we have records sent through of (possibly) the 1st game of social distancing Covid Boule. The details are scarce but the results is as follows:

1. Matt 'Carrier' Keast  - 7 
2. Stanley 'Infectious' Topalian  - 5
3. Lucy 'Dry Cough' Topalian  - 2

Special mention to Rowan '2 Metres' Topalian for acting as a Jack God.

Unfortunately due to an administrative error we have no photo of the game, but instead have this highly accurate artists depiction of Keast's crucial shot of the game.

EXTREME BOULE NEWS

February

 

The Month in a Nutshell: January saw Extreme boule action stretching from the South Coast of England to the Shetland Isles. In February it was the turn of the Welsh Extreme Boule scene to enter the limelight. In particularly it was the Cardiff boulers who set out to top the World rankings.

Now for some Extreme boule means mountains, bogs, forests… however some get their extreme kicks by clattering boule over tarmac, judging cambers, dodging drains and playing under street lamps – Urban Extreme Boule (UEB).

Extreme Boule veterans Murray, Moss and Wort met for a night time clash of UEB with only one thing on their mind – the number one spot in the World Rankings.  The poorly lit conditions meant players had to rely on their senses, more than their eyes and one man’s senses were far better honed than the others. Enter Jim Murray, long time top dog on the Cardiff scene, to play a round of sublime UEB. He dominated the game from the off, leaving Moss and Wort floundering, even serving up a cold hard slab of ‘La Rappiste’ from which Moss and Wort never recovered.

Moss in particular played pure botchy ball throughout and ended up, somehow, with no points.

In the end Murray took home the plaudits, and eased himself into the second spot on the World Rankings. Could this be his year?

Current World Number One: Sam Charles. No games from the master extreme bouler, but no one could match his points average, although Jim Murray came close.

Match of the Month: Murray 17, Wort 11, Moss 0. Murray won in style and Moss may have played one of the most notoriously bad rounds of Extreme Boule yet.

Photo of the Month: Night boule matches do not always generate classic images so we've opted for this photo, taken pre match, when Murray met Wort and Moss. It captures the pre-match tension, only eased with the opening of the port - an old Cardiff extreme boule tradition.

Murray, left, won the match at a canter

 

Fact of the Month: The highest game of boule recorded is 886m a.s.l. played on the summit of Pen y Fan. There are substantial rumours that a game once took place on a plane, but these cannot be verified.

 

Technique of the Month:  La Rappiste. A move in which a player dupes his opponents into playing harder shots, leaving themselves with an easy shot to the Jacque to claim the points. As pioneered by Jim Murray.

Check this out: We love the World Alternative Games!http://www.worldalternativegames.co.uk/

Cheerio for now Extreme Boulers!

 

 

Clapham Common Spousal Smackdown

29th March 2012
Clapham Common

Results:

D. Woolridge: 11
S. Murphy: 5
(note to boules administration, scores already counted)

Another devastating win for Woolridge.

Cleaver Square Dusk Match

Date: 23/02/12

Location: Cleaver Square, Kennington
Weather: Hotting Up.
Extreme Rating: **
Dangers & Annoyances: Approaching Darkness and two shady looking Characters.
Consumables: 4 Ales and Tyrells Sea Salt Crisps.

Result:
A. Betts 11
B. Martin (aka Balance Boy) 10

D. Woolridge 7

Match Report:

An ultra-hyped match took place in the fashionaboule Cleaver Square in London. After handing over a hefty deposit the friendly staff furnished our players with some heavily worn Boule to rival the legendary set of T. Wort.

Tensions between Martin and Woolridge were high after last year's climactic season end. Both players managed to keep their grudges bubbling under (despite some foul mouthed language from Woolridge aimed squarely at balance boy).


Losing light quickly, the three players battled swiftly It was looking like this match was all about Martin and Woolridge (Betts having yet to knock up more than one point). Then after what seemed to be a beer fuelled loss of coordination for the boys, Betts finally put down his phone and started to play properly and in gaining confidence from some very precise throws he made up his loss in record time to win the match.


Martin was heard to remark that he was happy with his 2nd place. Although, he had a single tear on his cheek. Meanwhile Woolridge could be heard muttering "I've lost it...".

Epic Battle

Date: 27/11/11
Location: SW4
Weather: Overcast with sunny intervals
Extreme Rating: * *
Consumables: Boule and coffee

Result: 1. D. Woolridge 223 points 2. T. Wort 198 points.

Match Report: Epic. Truely epic. Woolridge and Wort boule-battled for over three, maybe four hours, without break, in this Extreme Boule Marathon. The match saw Kissers, Double Kissers, Swan Rounds, Natural Collinson Rounds and much more. As the scores increased so did the pressure, with Wort collapsing to his knees at one point. Physical, Mental and Spiritual exhaustion was apparent, but both players battled on like a Jurassic Park veloceraptor trying to get into a kitchen. Ultimately it was Woolridge that managed to figure out the preverbial door handle with his preverbial dinosaur claw, claiming victory and taking him ever closer to the Number One Spot in the World Rankings. Ben Martin better watch out...

Shot of the Day: Any one of the double kissers that were witnessed.

A Bitter Sweet Roller Coaster

Date: 27/11/11
Location: SW4
Weather: Getter finer
Extreme Rating: *
Dangers and Annoyances: Fear of a rum flashback
Consumables: Hot coffee

Result: 1. D. Woolridge 4 points 2 = G. Searle 3 points 2 = T. Wort 3 points

Match Report: In a short timed match, Woolridge claimed another victory with some sweet boule action. However it was Searle that won the admiration of Extreme Boule fans with his decision to play two extra rounds after the agreed finishing time, despite being in the lead. These two final rounds saw Woolridge take the lead and claim victory, leaving Searle to ponder what might have been.

Shots of the Day: All of Searle's shots in the final two rounds represent boule being played for the love of boule.

Archive Photo

Clapham Common Autumn Match

Date: 13/11/11

Location: Clapham Common.
Weather: Unseasonable warmth.
Extreme Rating: *
Dangers & Annoyances: Frisky Labrador.
Consumables: Extra Strong Mints.

Result:

D. Woolridge 3

S. Murphy 3
D. Murphy 1
M. Murphy 0

Match Report:

A family matched proved that boule skill runs in the family. The Murphy's accuracy was something to behold. That was until, another blood line was introduced. Woolridge, clearly rattled the Murphi and was allowed to collect three consecutive points.

Shot of the match goes to S. Murphy who came away with a splendid 'Kisser'. Double points!

New formation...

'The Goose'

World Rankings!

Congratulations to Mr. Martin on truly splendid Boule Playing at Llangain. You now hold the Extreme Boule title!

Llangain Four-Day Match Result

Date: 14/10/11 - 17/10/11

Location: Llangain Farmhouse & Barn. Hay on Wye.
Weather: Clear & Crisp.
Extreme Rating: * * * * * *
Dangers & Annoyances: Birds of prey and an approaching winter.
Consumables: Ale, Port, Whiskey, Cuban Cigars, Cured Meats & Cheeses.

Result:

D. Woolridge 34

B. Martin 23

G. Searle 17

M. Hopkins 15

T. Wort 11 

L. Godden 4

K. Searle 0

B. Godden 0

S. Murphy 0

J. Godden 0

Match Report:

A gruelling four day match set against the sloping hills of the Wye Valley. Ten contestants battled it out on the green lustrous grass of Llangain farm. An age difference of 26 years between the oldest and youngest players added an edge of extremity to the match, the older players clearly rattled by the forward thinking techniques and plays of the youth. However, experience reigned supreme over the younglings, no one under the ripe age of 30 can be seen in the top five! Huzzah!


There were mutinous discussions against the organisers of the four day game. Some players and spectators alike, claiming an unfairness at games that were being played when not all players had even arrived, or indeed, long since left the arena.


Newcomers to the tournament, Searle and Martin came away with extremely impressive scores, especially. Woolridge cleared up overall with an eleven point lead, clearly desperate to win.
All could agree however, on the beauty of the arena itself. It lead to an air of calm over play. There's nothing like tossing the orb when you can hear an owl hooting somewhere down in the valley. A glorious weekend for the sport.

Llangain Boule

Sunday Post-lunch Match

Date: 09/10/11

Location: Back Garden. London SW4.
Weather: Overcast but clement.
Extreme Rating: *
Dangers & Annoyances: Dial-a-flight.
Consumables: None. (Although both players had both just had lunch. Roast Beef and Salmon, respectively).

Result:

Mike Hopkins - 11 points

Darren Woolridge - 5 points

Match Report:

After allowing Woolridge a five point lead, something happened inside Hopkins. Spectators said that they could actually see his Boule Glowing! He quickly scored 11 points in quick succession with his flamboyant, cock-sure throws. Woolridge could be heard muttering about dial-a-flight, he didn't seem to have his mind on the game. Both players agreed that the thick lustrous grass made for a pleasing, if not very extreme game.

Archive Image

Sinister Summer Match

Sunday Lunch Match
Date: 02/10/11
Location: North Field, Clapham Common, London


Weather conditions: Too hot for October.

Extreme Rating: *

Dangers & Annoyances: Global Warming. Sunbathers.

Consumables: A bottle of hot lemon squash.

Result:
Mike Hopkins - 11 points
Darren Woolridge - 9 points

Match Report:
October 2nd on Clapham Common, the scene of a grudge-match between Hopkins and Woolridge. Hopkins' had a swagger about him which suggested that he had something to prove to the crowds, donning a elegantly erotic 'topless' style which hopefully will become his trademark playing style throughout winter.


Immediately, it was clear that Hopkins meant business, picking up 9 near-consecutive points. The heat obviously getting to Woolridge; he could be seen wavering, until the nutrients from a fizzy lemon iced lollypop allowed him a comeback streak with some truly formidable shots.


Hopkins used the terrain to his advantage and developed a backspin move which saw his boule stopping dead as if by magic, leading to a deserved win.

Latest Boule News

Wednesday Dusk Match
Date: 29/9/11
Location: Cock Pond, Clapham Common, London
Weather conditions: Shorts & T-shirts. Unseasonable.
Extreme Rating: * * 

Dangers & Annoyances: Gluttony.

Consumables: Coley, Haddock, Chips, Mushy Peas. Old Speckled Hen. Diet Coke.

Result:
Darren Woolridge - 9 points

Sam Murphy - 5 points

Mike Hopkins - 1 point


Newcomer Hopkins struggled with the sass-mouth of the more seasoned players, finally brushing away the cloud of fear that had been shrouding his game with a sharp glugg of ale, allowing him a point. Much to the pleasure of the spectators, despite his un-sportsmanlike attitude. Murphy failed to regain the game the previous night had held and was left behind by the unstoppable force of Woolridge, who, despite being drunk and belligerent, held his aim true. (It is worth noting that the winning party had also consumed the most beer and finished the most fish and chips. Coincidence?)

Latest Boule Action

Wednesday Dusk Match
Date: 28/9/11
Location: St. James' Park, London
Weather conditions : Too hot for trousers
Extreme Rating: * * *

Dangers & Annoyances: Pick Pockets, Pelicans, Crazies & Drunks.


Consumables: Strawberry flavoured bacon sweets.

Result:
Sam Murphy 3 points
Darren Woolridge - 1 points

Four quick but tense matches in the watchful gaze of the Millenium Wheel and some hungry looking pelicans, Murphy quickly shattered Woolridge's confidence with a robotic aim, taking the first 2 matches with ease. Darkness stopped play.

Historical Match

Date: 28/5/11
Location: Edale, The Peak District
Weather conditions: Waterproof Jackets, Walking Boots.
Extreme Rating: * * * * *
Consumables: Flask of Coffee, Bitter Lemon, Holiday Bread and Flapjacks.

Result:
Mari Wort - 1 point
Pippa Cox - 1 point


Match Video:

Future memories from the past:

Quite a crowd gathered for the match in the splash pool of the waterfall. Our lips stinging from the wind and copious amounts of bitter lemon, this match was to add a few layers of rust to the Boule set. Some admirable playing from the T.Wort and Murphy was trumped by the just aims of Cox and M.Wort. A blustery victory.