St. James' Sitting Match

Date: 01/04/12

Location: St. James' Park - London
Weather: Lovely.
Extreme Rating: *
Dangers & Annoyances: Ale Hangover.
Consumables: None.

Results:

D. Woolridge: 11
T. Wort: 10
S. Murphy: 9

Match Report:

After a bombastic evening chugging ale in Wandsworth, the match was played entirely from seated poses. A subdued, pleasant match played out with plenty of Moon Pies a nest match and a sweet Double Kisser to win the match from Woolridge.

Epic Battle

Date: 27/11/11
Location: SW4
Weather: Overcast with sunny intervals
Extreme Rating: * *
Consumables: Boule and coffee

Result: 1. D. Woolridge 223 points 2. T. Wort 198 points.

Match Report: Epic. Truely epic. Woolridge and Wort boule-battled for over three, maybe four hours, without break, in this Extreme Boule Marathon. The match saw Kissers, Double Kissers, Swan Rounds, Natural Collinson Rounds and much more. As the scores increased so did the pressure, with Wort collapsing to his knees at one point. Physical, Mental and Spiritual exhaustion was apparent, but both players battled on like a Jurassic Park veloceraptor trying to get into a kitchen. Ultimately it was Woolridge that managed to figure out the preverbial door handle with his preverbial dinosaur claw, claiming victory and taking him ever closer to the Number One Spot in the World Rankings. Ben Martin better watch out...

Shot of the Day: Any one of the double kissers that were witnessed.

A Bitter Sweet Roller Coaster

Date: 27/11/11
Location: SW4
Weather: Getter finer
Extreme Rating: *
Dangers and Annoyances: Fear of a rum flashback
Consumables: Hot coffee

Result: 1. D. Woolridge 4 points 2 = G. Searle 3 points 2 = T. Wort 3 points

Match Report: In a short timed match, Woolridge claimed another victory with some sweet boule action. However it was Searle that won the admiration of Extreme Boule fans with his decision to play two extra rounds after the agreed finishing time, despite being in the lead. These two final rounds saw Woolridge take the lead and claim victory, leaving Searle to ponder what might have been.

Shots of the Day: All of Searle's shots in the final two rounds represent boule being played for the love of boule.

Waterman Returns!

Date: 27th November
Location: London SW4
Weather: Fine and crisp
Extreme Rating: *
Danger and Annoyances: Time
Consumables: Sweet Tea.

Result: 1. R Waterman 8 points 2. D Woolridge 7pts 3. T Wort 6 pts 4. G Searle 3 pts

Match Report: On a fine November morning, R. Waterman, a veteran of the Extreme Boule scene, returned to the world championship. Having some of the finest Extreme Boule terrain outside his training camp in Edale, Waterman soon shrugged off the rustiness to outplay and out nerve three of the the current Top 5 players in the world. With a set end time of 10am, each boule played was smeared with tension, with the first recorded episode of High-Jacking. It all ended with Waterman sauntering off the pitch and back to the Peak District with a 4th place in the World Rankings and eye on the the number one spot. Incredible scenes!

Sunday Post-lunch Match

Date: 09/10/11

Location: Back Garden. London SW4.
Weather: Overcast but clement.
Extreme Rating: *
Dangers & Annoyances: Dial-a-flight.
Consumables: None. (Although both players had both just had lunch. Roast Beef and Salmon, respectively).

Result:

Mike Hopkins - 11 points

Darren Woolridge - 5 points

Match Report:

After allowing Woolridge a five point lead, something happened inside Hopkins. Spectators said that they could actually see his Boule Glowing! He quickly scored 11 points in quick succession with his flamboyant, cock-sure throws. Woolridge could be heard muttering about dial-a-flight, he didn't seem to have his mind on the game. Both players agreed that the thick lustrous grass made for a pleasing, if not very extreme game.

Sinister Summer Match

Sunday Lunch Match
Date: 02/10/11
Location: North Field, Clapham Common, London


Weather conditions: Too hot for October.

Extreme Rating: *

Dangers & Annoyances: Global Warming. Sunbathers.

Consumables: A bottle of hot lemon squash.

Result:
Mike Hopkins - 11 points
Darren Woolridge - 9 points

Match Report:
October 2nd on Clapham Common, the scene of a grudge-match between Hopkins and Woolridge. Hopkins' had a swagger about him which suggested that he had something to prove to the crowds, donning a elegantly erotic 'topless' style which hopefully will become his trademark playing style throughout winter.


Immediately, it was clear that Hopkins meant business, picking up 9 near-consecutive points. The heat obviously getting to Woolridge; he could be seen wavering, until the nutrients from a fizzy lemon iced lollypop allowed him a comeback streak with some truly formidable shots.


Hopkins used the terrain to his advantage and developed a backspin move which saw his boule stopping dead as if by magic, leading to a deserved win.

Latest Boule News

Wednesday Dusk Match
Date: 29/9/11
Location: Cock Pond, Clapham Common, London
Weather conditions: Shorts & T-shirts. Unseasonable.
Extreme Rating: * * 

Dangers & Annoyances: Gluttony.

Consumables: Coley, Haddock, Chips, Mushy Peas. Old Speckled Hen. Diet Coke.

Result:
Darren Woolridge - 9 points

Sam Murphy - 5 points

Mike Hopkins - 1 point


Newcomer Hopkins struggled with the sass-mouth of the more seasoned players, finally brushing away the cloud of fear that had been shrouding his game with a sharp glugg of ale, allowing him a point. Much to the pleasure of the spectators, despite his un-sportsmanlike attitude. Murphy failed to regain the game the previous night had held and was left behind by the unstoppable force of Woolridge, who, despite being drunk and belligerent, held his aim true. (It is worth noting that the winning party had also consumed the most beer and finished the most fish and chips. Coincidence?)

Latest Boule Action

Wednesday Dusk Match
Date: 28/9/11
Location: St. James' Park, London
Weather conditions : Too hot for trousers
Extreme Rating: * * *

Dangers & Annoyances: Pick Pockets, Pelicans, Crazies & Drunks.


Consumables: Strawberry flavoured bacon sweets.

Result:
Sam Murphy 3 points
Darren Woolridge - 1 points

Four quick but tense matches in the watchful gaze of the Millenium Wheel and some hungry looking pelicans, Murphy quickly shattered Woolridge's confidence with a robotic aim, taking the first 2 matches with ease. Darkness stopped play.