Date: 26/2/12 Location: Pontcanna Fields Weather Conditions: Cold crisp sunshine. Extreme Rating: * * * Dangers & Annoyances: The prospect of a broken port bottle. Broken fingers.
Match Result: 1st S. Moss 9 points 2nd T. Wort 1 point 3rd J. Murray 0 point
Report: Everyone was talking about the return of Murray, surely one of the fashion pioneers of the Boule scene and Wort's annilihation of Moss in the previous match. Moss, at the start of the match, looked nothing better than a port stained has-been, grasping a bottle of whisky for solace. The match was epic, both Murray and Wort taking turns at leading. All three players appeared to be entering a State of Collinson and with numerous Collinson Rounds everyone's courage was very much tested. After a hour of play and with a number of point deductions for hitting the port bottle so the game swung in Moss' favour. Murray's pioneering Boule Catch round almost smashed fingers, but it was Moss who, suitably port enriched, strutted away with the victory and his first ever win over Murray.
Shot of the Day: The port bottles double flip after Murray's boule smacked into it, wowed the crowd.
26.2.12
Seb Moss - Extreme Boule and Port
The ever controversial Seb Moss during a tense match with T. Wort and J. Murray.
Battle of Pontcanna Fields
Date: 26/2/12 Location: Pontcanna Fields Weather Conditions: Spring sunshine. Extreme Rating:*** Dangers & Annoyances: Whisky and port consumption. Boule fans.
Match Result: 1st T. Wort 10 points 2nd S. Moss 0 points
Game Report: Everyone in Cardiff was talking about the big sporting events of the weekend; international rugby, Cardiff in a football final and the BIG event - Extreme Boule in Pontcanna Fields. Wort took on Moss in a timed match with the air tense with expectation. Moss, the Housewives Favourite, was in bleak form. Clearly with things on his mind, a seething rant seemed more likely than any decent boule shots. Wort, using the whisky to steady his aim, took advantage and smashed Moss into oblivion.
Pre game interview with Seb Moss
Prior to the afternoons boule events our reporter caught up with Seb Moss, warming up with a pint of Long Kiss Goodnight, and found the boule veteran in a confrontational mood.
Reporter: What do you think of the freshness some of the new faces of Extreme Boule are bringing to the pursuit?
Moss: They don't know boule. They think they know boule. They don't know boule.
Reporter: Who are you refering to?
Moss: Martin, Cox and others. I will teach them a boule lesson they won't forget. Those young whippersnappers. I use to dominate the Extreme Boule world! * They don't know boule.
* Editors note: Moss has never dominated the Extreme Boule world - last season he finished 13th.
Match Result: 1st T. Wort 10 points 2nd S. Moss 0 points
Game Report: Everyone in Cardiff was talking about the big sporting events of the weekend; international rugby, Cardiff in a football final and the BIG event - Extreme Boule in Pontcanna Fields. Wort took on Moss in a timed match with the air tense with expectation. Moss, the Housewives Favourite, was in bleak form. Clearly with things on his mind, a seething rant seemed more likely than any decent boule shots. Wort, using the whisky to steady his aim, took advantage and smashed Moss into oblivion.
Pre game interview with Seb Moss
Prior to the afternoons boule events our reporter caught up with Seb Moss, warming up with a pint of Long Kiss Goodnight, and found the boule veteran in a confrontational mood.
Reporter: What do you think of the freshness some of the new faces of Extreme Boule are bringing to the pursuit?
Moss: They don't know boule. They think they know boule. They don't know boule.
Reporter: Who are you refering to?
Moss: Martin, Cox and others. I will teach them a boule lesson they won't forget. Those young whippersnappers. I use to dominate the Extreme Boule world! * They don't know boule.
* Editors note: Moss has never dominated the Extreme Boule world - last season he finished 13th.
Seb Moss, occasionally refered to as the Bad Boy of Boules
24.2.12
Cleaver Square Dusk Match
Date: 23/02/12
Location: Cleaver Square, Kennington
Weather: Hotting Up.
Extreme Rating: **
Dangers & Annoyances: Approaching Darkness and two shady looking Characters.
Consumables: 4 Ales and Tyrells Sea Salt Crisps.
An ultra-hyped match took place in the fashionaboule Cleaver Square in London. After handing over a hefty deposit the friendly staff furnished our players with some heavily worn Boule to rival the legendary set of T. Wort.
Tensions between Martin and Woolridge were high after last year's climactic season end. Both players managed to keep their grudges bubbling under (despite some foul mouthed language from Woolridge aimed squarely at balance boy).
Losing light quickly, the three players battled swiftly It was looking like this match was all about Martin and Woolridge (Betts having yet to knock up more than one point). Then after what seemed to be a beer fuelled loss of coordination for the boys, Betts finally put down his phone and started to play properly and in gaining confidence from some very precise throws he made up his loss in record time to win the match.
Martin was heard to remark that he was happy with his 2nd place. Although, he had a single tear on his cheek. Meanwhile Woolridge could be heard muttering "I've lost it...".
Location: Cleaver Square, Kennington
Weather: Hotting Up.
Extreme Rating: **
Dangers & Annoyances: Approaching Darkness and two shady looking Characters.
Consumables: 4 Ales and Tyrells Sea Salt Crisps.
Result:
A. Betts 11
B. Martin (aka Balance Boy) 10
A. Betts 11
B. Martin (aka Balance Boy) 10
D. Woolridge 7
Match Report:
An ultra-hyped match took place in the fashionaboule Cleaver Square in London. After handing over a hefty deposit the friendly staff furnished our players with some heavily worn Boule to rival the legendary set of T. Wort.
Tensions between Martin and Woolridge were high after last year's climactic season end. Both players managed to keep their grudges bubbling under (despite some foul mouthed language from Woolridge aimed squarely at balance boy).
Losing light quickly, the three players battled swiftly It was looking like this match was all about Martin and Woolridge (Betts having yet to knock up more than one point). Then after what seemed to be a beer fuelled loss of coordination for the boys, Betts finally put down his phone and started to play properly and in gaining confidence from some very precise throws he made up his loss in record time to win the match.
Martin was heard to remark that he was happy with his 2nd place. Although, he had a single tear on his cheek. Meanwhile Woolridge could be heard muttering "I've lost it...".
19.2.12
The Mega Python Show Down
Date: 19/2/12 Location: Grangetown Weather Conditions: Cold crisp sunshine. Extreme Rating: * * Dangers & Annoyances: The constant fear of cat faeces.
Match Result: 1st T. Wort 2nd M. Wort 3rd I. Thomas 4th S. Moss
Game Report: A brief time challenge match, saw Boule has-been T. Wort regain some magic of old with a determined performance to sneak past the fresh talents of M. Wort and I. Thomas. Moss fattened by his victory earlier in the afternoon, was sluggish and performed pitifully like an python that had just gorged itself on an steriod laced alligator.
The Gatoroid Show Down
Date: 19/2/12 Location: Grangetown Weather Conditions: Cold crisp sunshine. Extreme Rating: * * Dangers & Annoyances: The prospect of witnessing a gatoroid!Match Result: 1st S. Moss 2nd I. Thomas 3rd T. Wort
Game Report: This game welcomed a rookie into the Extreme Boule Championships - I. Thomas brought a fresh competitiveness to the sport, rattling experience bouler Wort to the point of breaking. Moss, the housewives favourite, kept his nerve when it mattered and shot the proverbial python in the head, claiming his first victory in years.
Shot of the Day: Thomas canon bouling a boule and scattering stones with gusto.
"Yesss!" - Seb Moss on claiming his first victory, and thus titilating housewives everywhere.
Edale Domination
Date: 19/2/12 Location: Grangetown Weather Conditions: Cold crisp sunshine. Extreme Rating: * * Dangers & Annoyances: Fragile flower pots. TimeMatch Result: 1st P. Cox 2nd R. Waterman 3rd D. Woolridge 4th T. Wort
Game Report: This time challenge was a true battle of Edale, as Cox and Waterman dueled for the number one spot, relying on a tie-breaker to decide the victor. Waterman, the Wizard of Edale and current world number one, landed a perfect kisser, but it was Cox's sassy play that won the match. Wort was hopeless and Woolridge floundered like a beached haddock - he was later overheard saying "I've lost it, I've lost it".
Shot of the Day: Cox claiming the tie-breaker in a tense one boule shoot off with Waterman was saluted by all present.
"I kicked your asses!" - Pippa Cox after the game, showing some of the sass that may upset the purists, but will excite the more youthful elements.
The Opening Match 2012
Date: 18/2/12 Location: Grangetown Weather Conditions: Rain Extreme Rating: * * Dangers & Annoyances: Cat faeces, drizzleMatch Result: 1st R. Waterman 2nd T. Wort 3rd D. Woolridge 4th C. Davies
Game Report: The opening game of the 2012 season was ripe with tension. Despite the rainfall, nothing could dampen the anticipation as the current world champion, Woolridge, took to the field. But it was veteran Waterman who stole the show with a series of mouth watering shots. Woolridge, looking haunted, was slow to start and couldn't match Waterman, the Wizard of Edale.
16.2.12
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