2019 Champion

The players walk the rain sodden back streets of Cardiff, itching to play, hoping to find that allusive extreme spot that will allow a true round of boule to be played. They stop for ale, then stop for some more. Now is it time for boule? No, a little more ale first. And then something to quench the thirst. Maybe some ale. Night has fallen and thoughts turn back to boule – could the street itself host an  round of extreme boule. It’s been done before, in these very streets – but it doesn’t feel right. The players walk on and stop off at a shop. Bottles of cherry wine and cheap port are bought. The clock approaches midnight, and that means Monday morning is approaching – surely the time for boule has passed.

The players return to their hotel and decide on one more for their road in the hotel room. The room is cramped, but they fit in. The cherry wine is opened, lips are stained and eyes are widened. Without a word, the boule are taken from their case. Their earthy metallic scent fills the small space. It is now apparent that a  game is about to break out in this 4m square room. This feels extreme. This feels right. A glug of port and the banter begins. Woolridge is there, a world champion of old, his eyes misty. Wort, like a relic from a bygone age of extreme boule glugs back his wine. Moss, once the housewives’ favourite in the extreme boule world – limbers up with that bravado of old.

The cherry wine is finished, the boule are readied. But then the air is sucked from the room, ghosts appear all around and all eyes are drawn to a small object produced from Woolridges’ bag. The Extreme Boule trophy is in the room. The environment changes, the spirits of the extreme boule legends of old watch on, peeping, leering as the port is sipped.  It feels right to say an Extreme Boule champion will be crowned tonight.

The game is a blur – the boule clatter over beds, through shower cubicles, and into history.

One man holds his swagger, controlling the silver orbs like Gressier. He lands the crucial point, grasps the trophy, and passes out on the bed. He may be dead, but what a way to go! Seb Moss is Extreme Boule Champion 2019.