Spotted in Clapham.
Location:B229,,United Kingdom
11.12.11
4.12.11
Dream Match
Date: 04/12/11 4:58am
Location: Woolridge's subconscious.
Dangers & Annoyances: waking up / reality.
Match Results: D. Woolridge 1, B.Martin 0.
Match Report: taking place in a strange, twisted reality (but none less real) the game was played entirely with wooden jacks. In a Christmassy, lounge with seventies decor, Martin was reluctant to accept the challenge to Boule, knowing full well what a negative effect it would surely have on his current world ranking (number 1). When he reluctantly accepted the challenge, we battled the orbs down by the fireplace, Martin taking an early lead. Woolridge realised why this man was number one. Slowly Woolridge pulled it back until the scores were neck and neck. In one sweet overhand chuck. Woolridge grabbed the winning point (despite the confusion that came from all the boule being jacks). Sadly Woolridge then wakes up, shattering this fantasy world and his chance at the number one spot. Incredible!
Location: Woolridge's subconscious.
Dangers & Annoyances: waking up / reality.
Match Results: D. Woolridge 1, B.Martin 0.
Match Report: taking place in a strange, twisted reality (but none less real) the game was played entirely with wooden jacks. In a Christmassy, lounge with seventies decor, Martin was reluctant to accept the challenge to Boule, knowing full well what a negative effect it would surely have on his current world ranking (number 1). When he reluctantly accepted the challenge, we battled the orbs down by the fireplace, Martin taking an early lead. Woolridge realised why this man was number one. Slowly Woolridge pulled it back until the scores were neck and neck. In one sweet overhand chuck. Woolridge grabbed the winning point (despite the confusion that came from all the boule being jacks). Sadly Woolridge then wakes up, shattering this fantasy world and his chance at the number one spot. Incredible!
Location:The subconscious
28.11.11
Epic Battle
Date: 27/11/11
Location: SW4
Weather: Overcast with sunny intervals
Extreme Rating: * *
Consumables: Boule and coffee
Result: 1. D. Woolridge 223 points 2. T. Wort 198 points.
Match Report: Epic. Truely epic. Woolridge and Wort boule-battled for over three, maybe four hours, without break, in this Extreme Boule Marathon. The match saw Kissers, Double Kissers, Swan Rounds, Natural Collinson Rounds and much more. As the scores increased so did the pressure, with Wort collapsing to his knees at one point. Physical, Mental and Spiritual exhaustion was apparent, but both players battled on like a Jurassic Park veloceraptor trying to get into a kitchen. Ultimately it was Woolridge that managed to figure out the preverbial door handle with his preverbial dinosaur claw, claiming victory and taking him ever closer to the Number One Spot in the World Rankings. Ben Martin better watch out...
Shot of the Day: Any one of the double kissers that were witnessed.
Location: SW4
Weather: Overcast with sunny intervals
Extreme Rating: * *
Consumables: Boule and coffee
Result: 1. D. Woolridge 223 points 2. T. Wort 198 points.
Match Report: Epic. Truely epic. Woolridge and Wort boule-battled for over three, maybe four hours, without break, in this Extreme Boule Marathon. The match saw Kissers, Double Kissers, Swan Rounds, Natural Collinson Rounds and much more. As the scores increased so did the pressure, with Wort collapsing to his knees at one point. Physical, Mental and Spiritual exhaustion was apparent, but both players battled on like a Jurassic Park veloceraptor trying to get into a kitchen. Ultimately it was Woolridge that managed to figure out the preverbial door handle with his preverbial dinosaur claw, claiming victory and taking him ever closer to the Number One Spot in the World Rankings. Ben Martin better watch out...
Shot of the Day: Any one of the double kissers that were witnessed.
A Bitter Sweet Roller Coaster
Date: 27/11/11
Location: SW4
Weather: Getter finer
Extreme Rating: *
Dangers and Annoyances: Fear of a rum flashback
Consumables: Hot coffee
Result: 1. D. Woolridge 4 points 2 = G. Searle 3 points 2 = T. Wort 3 points
Match Report: In a short timed match, Woolridge claimed another victory with some sweet boule action. However it was Searle that won the admiration of Extreme Boule fans with his decision to play two extra rounds after the agreed finishing time, despite being in the lead. These two final rounds saw Woolridge take the lead and claim victory, leaving Searle to ponder what might have been.
Shots of the Day: All of Searle's shots in the final two rounds represent boule being played for the love of boule.
Location: SW4
Weather: Getter finer
Extreme Rating: *
Dangers and Annoyances: Fear of a rum flashback
Consumables: Hot coffee
Result: 1. D. Woolridge 4 points 2 = G. Searle 3 points 2 = T. Wort 3 points
Match Report: In a short timed match, Woolridge claimed another victory with some sweet boule action. However it was Searle that won the admiration of Extreme Boule fans with his decision to play two extra rounds after the agreed finishing time, despite being in the lead. These two final rounds saw Woolridge take the lead and claim victory, leaving Searle to ponder what might have been.
Shots of the Day: All of Searle's shots in the final two rounds represent boule being played for the love of boule.
Waterman Returns!
Date: 27th November
Location: London SW4
Weather: Fine and crisp
Extreme Rating: *
Danger and Annoyances: Time
Consumables: Sweet Tea.
Result: 1. R Waterman 8 points 2. D Woolridge 7pts 3. T Wort 6 pts 4. G Searle 3 pts
Match Report: On a fine November morning, R. Waterman, a veteran of the Extreme Boule scene, returned to the world championship. Having some of the finest Extreme Boule terrain outside his training camp in Edale, Waterman soon shrugged off the rustiness to outplay and out nerve three of the the current Top 5 players in the world. With a set end time of 10am, each boule played was smeared with tension, with the first recorded episode of High-Jacking. It all ended with Waterman sauntering off the pitch and back to the Peak District with a 4th place in the World Rankings and eye on the the number one spot. Incredible scenes!
Location: London SW4
Weather: Fine and crisp
Extreme Rating: *
Danger and Annoyances: Time
Consumables: Sweet Tea.
Result: 1. R Waterman 8 points 2. D Woolridge 7pts 3. T Wort 6 pts 4. G Searle 3 pts
Match Report: On a fine November morning, R. Waterman, a veteran of the Extreme Boule scene, returned to the world championship. Having some of the finest Extreme Boule terrain outside his training camp in Edale, Waterman soon shrugged off the rustiness to outplay and out nerve three of the the current Top 5 players in the world. With a set end time of 10am, each boule played was smeared with tension, with the first recorded episode of High-Jacking. It all ended with Waterman sauntering off the pitch and back to the Peak District with a 4th place in the World Rankings and eye on the the number one spot. Incredible scenes!
24.11.11
14.11.11
Clapham Common Autumn Match
Date: 13/11/11
Result:
Location: Clapham Common.
Weather: Unseasonable warmth.
Extreme Rating: *
Dangers & Annoyances: Frisky Labrador.
Consumables: Extra Strong Mints.
Weather: Unseasonable warmth.
Extreme Rating: *
Dangers & Annoyances: Frisky Labrador.
Consumables: Extra Strong Mints.
Result:
D. Woolridge 3
S. Murphy 3
D. Murphy 1
M. Murphy 0
D. Murphy 1
M. Murphy 0
Match Report:
A family matched proved that boule skill runs in the family. The Murphy's accuracy was something to behold. That was until, another blood line was introduced. Woolridge, clearly rattled the Murphi and was allowed to collect three consecutive points.
Shot of the match goes to S. Murphy who came away with a splendid 'Kisser'. Double points!
13.11.11
New Rule
After some deliberation a new Extreme Boule rule has blossomed into existance. The rule relates to kissers and their associated points. The rule is thus: A single boule touching the jack (referred to a a kisser) will result in a doubling of the point, resulting in two points for the player. If a player has two boule kissing the jack, the points are trippled (2 x 3) thus resulting in six points. A triple kisser (never before recorded), will earn a quadrupling of points (3 x 4) thus resulting in 12 points. A quadruple kisser (highly unlikely) will earn 20 points (4 x 5).
2.11.11
Halfway Halloween Match
Date: 29 - 30th October Location: Halfway, near Llandovery Weather: Bright and breezy Extreme Rating: * * * * * * Dangers and Annoyances: Boule slip, Roman ghosts
Result
1. D. Woolridge 127
2. T. Wort 118
3. S. Moss 6
4. S. Jones 3
= K. Harrison 3
6. S. Murphy 2
= M. Wort 2
8. G. Thomas 1
= C. Davies 1
10. N. S. Moss 0
Match Report: An epic weekend long battle in the Llandovery wilds saw Woolridge claim an historic victory with the highest ever points total on record. Pioneering the Jack chasing technique, Woolridge outwitted his opponents and some zombies whilst simultaneously climbing Y Pigwn. Various terrain was encountered including what has been described as an Extreme Boule pitch from heaven (OS map grid reference: SN 830 314 GB). The match was also notable for the first ever extreme boule round held inside the remains of a roman camp. Several new players joined the scene with Jones and Harrison showing some nice touches. Both Woolridge and Wort are said to be suffering physical and mental exhaustion.
Shot of the Day: Woolridge claimed his 127th point and the match with a splendid last round destructo boule knocking Wort's potential double kisser out of contention.
23.10.11
21.10.11
World Rankings!
Congratulations to Mr. Martin on truly splendid Boule Playing at Llangain. You now hold the Extreme Boule title!
Llangain Four-Day Match Result
Date: 14/10/11 - 17/10/11
Location: Llangain Farmhouse & Barn. Hay on Wye.
Weather: Clear & Crisp.
Extreme Rating: * * * * * *
Dangers & Annoyances: Birds of prey and an approaching winter.
Consumables: Ale, Port, Whiskey, Cuban Cigars, Cured Meats & Cheeses.
Weather: Clear & Crisp.
Extreme Rating: * * * * * *
Dangers & Annoyances: Birds of prey and an approaching winter.
Consumables: Ale, Port, Whiskey, Cuban Cigars, Cured Meats & Cheeses.
Result:
D. Woolridge 34
B. Martin 23
G. Searle 17
M. Hopkins 15
T. Wort 11
L. Godden 4
K. Searle 0
B. Godden 0
S. Murphy 0
J. Godden 0
Match Report:
A gruelling four day match set against the sloping hills of the Wye Valley. Ten contestants battled it out on the green lustrous grass of Llangain farm. An age difference of 26 years between the oldest and youngest players added an edge of extremity to the match, the older players clearly rattled by the forward thinking techniques and plays of the youth. However, experience reigned supreme over the younglings, no one under the ripe age of 30 can be seen in the top five! Huzzah!There were mutinous discussions against the organisers of the four day game. Some players and spectators alike, claiming an unfairness at games that were being played when not all players had even arrived, or indeed, long since left the arena.
Newcomers to the tournament, Searle and Martin came away with extremely impressive scores, especially. Woolridge cleared up overall with an eleven point lead, clearly desperate to win.
All could agree however, on the beauty of the arena itself. It lead to an air of calm over play. There's nothing like tossing the orb when you can hear an owl hooting somewhere down in the valley. A glorious weekend for the sport.
20.10.11
11.10.11
Sunday Post-lunch Match
Date: 09/10/11
Location: Back Garden. London SW4.
Weather: Overcast but clement.
Extreme Rating: *
Dangers & Annoyances: Dial-a-flight.
Consumables: None. (Although both players had both just had lunch. Roast Beef and Salmon, respectively).
Weather: Overcast but clement.
Extreme Rating: *
Dangers & Annoyances: Dial-a-flight.
Consumables: None. (Although both players had both just had lunch. Roast Beef and Salmon, respectively).
Result:
Mike Hopkins - 11 points
Darren Woolridge - 5 points
Match Report:
After allowing Woolridge a five point lead, something happened inside Hopkins. Spectators said that they could actually see his Boule Glowing! He quickly scored 11 points in quick succession with his flamboyant, cock-sure throws. Woolridge could be heard muttering about dial-a-flight, he didn't seem to have his mind on the game. Both players agreed that the thick lustrous grass made for a pleasing, if not very extreme game.
9.10.11
The Battle of the Lower Plants
Date: 07/10/11
Location: Terrain behind Pedal Power, Bute Park
Weather: A balmy evening
Extreme Rating: * * * (A double sloping pitch with concrete areas)
Dangers & Annoyances: Boy scouts, the lack of light.
Consumables: Tanglefoot ale and far too much port.
Match Report: As darkness quickly descended Moss and Wort battled it out for the right to not be bottom of the World Rankings. Both players used the sloping terrain to demonstrate some extreme action, with Moss fresh from his intensive week long training session in Spain. Playing with 5 boule each the points racked up, with Moss picking up 10 points in what must be record time. With the game tied at 20 all, play was halted due to darkness and relocated to next to a street light. After some interfering boy scouts held up play, Wort claimed the narrowess of victories.
Shots of the Day: Moss' 10 point bonanza scored in a matter of minutes.
Location: Terrain behind Pedal Power, Bute Park
Weather: A balmy evening
Extreme Rating: * * * (A double sloping pitch with concrete areas)
Dangers & Annoyances: Boy scouts, the lack of light.
Consumables: Tanglefoot ale and far too much port.
Match Report: As darkness quickly descended Moss and Wort battled it out for the right to not be bottom of the World Rankings. Both players used the sloping terrain to demonstrate some extreme action, with Moss fresh from his intensive week long training session in Spain. Playing with 5 boule each the points racked up, with Moss picking up 10 points in what must be record time. With the game tied at 20 all, play was halted due to darkness and relocated to next to a street light. After some interfering boy scouts held up play, Wort claimed the narrowess of victories.
Shots of the Day: Moss' 10 point bonanza scored in a matter of minutes.
7.10.11
Extreme Boules Terminology
Below are some examples of Extreme Boules terminology that may be overheard in games. Please feel free to add your own and help build up the Dictionary of Extreme Boule.
Cat's Licked Your Bacon - (i) A player who on the surface seems very pleased with themself after some impressive play or a turn of luck.
(ii) A player forced to persevere with what appears to be an enjoyable action, but which deep down carries a terrible burden, all because of a curse.
To Pull a Hornblower - A player who seems to have disregarded all concept of scoring points / winning and is instead playing with joyful abandonment and reckless happiness.
e.g. Player A: "Seb's lost it, he's delirious and nowhere near the jack."
Player B: " I think he may be pulling a Hornblower."
Kisser - To land a boule so close that it really touches the jack. In some games this results in double points.
Collinson - To heavily rely on port to improve your aim.
e.g Player A: "Seb's got better since the port came out."
Player B: "He's entering a State of Collinson."
Collinson Round - When the jack is replaced with a consumable, most traditionally a bottle of Collinson's port. Damage to the consumable often results in negative points. This round is seen as a true test of courage.
I wouldn't want a ticket for that showing! - A term, possibly borrowed from Dominoes, for a bad round of boule.
An Act of Gressier - To carry out an obscene action that is intended to offend your opponents and thus put them off their game. Legal in the game of Extreme Boule but rarely practised thankfully.
e.g. Player A: Stan's shorts are too short - he's exposing his testicle with each lunge. I'm finding it hard to focus.
Player B: He's commiting an Act of Gressier, which are permitted in the rules, so just get on with it.
Port Kiss - The act of kissing your boule with port stained lips before tossing it in the hope of improving your aim. Yet to be proven to have any scientific value.
Playing like a docker / sailor - To play well, albeit in a rough and ready manner. Both dockers and sailors are traditionally believed to be fine Extreme Boule players.
Playing like an 18th Century docker/sailor. To play even better than above.
Boule Tap - The sound of Boule being tapped together. Most commonly used as a sign of applause and appreciation. However it has been reported as being used in a derisive, taughting manner as well. Occasionally refered to as the Geiger Counter.
Cockburn's Grip - (a) The manner of holding a bottle of Cockburn's Port, a very common refreshment during Extreme Boule games.
(b) A players technique for holding a boule.
e.g. Player A: "Sebs throwing his boule in a weird way."
Player B: "He's trying out a new Cockburn's Grip"
(c) An obscure yet influential musical act on the Creamhorn Record's label.
To play under the influence - To play without the influence of alcohol. To play sober.
Goose - When the boule arrange themselves to form a V shape i.e. the formation geese adopt when streamline flying. A magical event when it happens in a match, which should be celebrated.
Dig In! - A call bellowed whilst the boule is mid air which hopes to encourage the boule to land with no bounce.
Carry On! - A call bellowed (often in a panicked fashion) to encourage a boule in motion to continue rolling and thus close in on the jack.
Jack Chasing - The art of playing boule whilst walking.
Canon-boule - To propel a boule with such force that it smashes into the terrain leaving a boule imprint.
Destructo - boule - The act of using a boule to smash your opponents boule (s) out the way, recalibrating the field of play and thus 'reseting the clocks'.
Reseting the Clocks - To reset the pitch i.e. to change the position of the jack and/or boules during a round.
Double kisser - To have two boule touching the jack. Pure magic.
Fecal - boule - When a boule is covered, accidently or deliberately, with fecal mater and still used in a round. Despite claims that a fecal-boule helps to put off opponents, there is yet to be any scientific evidence to show the advantages or disadvantages of playing with a fecal-boule.
High Jacking - The collision of two boule mid air. Can occur accidently, or as a deliberate act of aggression. It is believed that having a boule 'high jacked' can shatter a players confidence.
Swan Round - The unusual practice of creating a swan shape out of tin foil and resting the jack on the head. A very specialist play.
Presenting a Gift - When the jack is relocated towards the end of the game (the clocks are reset) into a new position away from all the boules, giving the next player an easy target.
Gift Snatcher - A player who takes the points when the jack is presented as gift.
Gentleman's Co-efficient - Proposed new rule that states players should receive points for consuming port during a game. Very controversial.
Cat's Licked Your Bacon - (i) A player who on the surface seems very pleased with themself after some impressive play or a turn of luck.
(ii) A player forced to persevere with what appears to be an enjoyable action, but which deep down carries a terrible burden, all because of a curse.
To Pull a Hornblower - A player who seems to have disregarded all concept of scoring points / winning and is instead playing with joyful abandonment and reckless happiness.
e.g. Player A: "Seb's lost it, he's delirious and nowhere near the jack."
Player B: " I think he may be pulling a Hornblower."
Kisser - To land a boule so close that it really touches the jack. In some games this results in double points.
Collinson - To heavily rely on port to improve your aim.
e.g Player A: "Seb's got better since the port came out."
Player B: "He's entering a State of Collinson."
Collinson Round - When the jack is replaced with a consumable, most traditionally a bottle of Collinson's port. Damage to the consumable often results in negative points. This round is seen as a true test of courage.
I wouldn't want a ticket for that showing! - A term, possibly borrowed from Dominoes, for a bad round of boule.
An Act of Gressier - To carry out an obscene action that is intended to offend your opponents and thus put them off their game. Legal in the game of Extreme Boule but rarely practised thankfully.
e.g. Player A: Stan's shorts are too short - he's exposing his testicle with each lunge. I'm finding it hard to focus.
Player B: He's commiting an Act of Gressier, which are permitted in the rules, so just get on with it.
Port Kiss - The act of kissing your boule with port stained lips before tossing it in the hope of improving your aim. Yet to be proven to have any scientific value.
Playing like a docker / sailor - To play well, albeit in a rough and ready manner. Both dockers and sailors are traditionally believed to be fine Extreme Boule players.
Playing like an 18th Century docker/sailor. To play even better than above.
Boule Tap - The sound of Boule being tapped together. Most commonly used as a sign of applause and appreciation. However it has been reported as being used in a derisive, taughting manner as well. Occasionally refered to as the Geiger Counter.
Cockburn's Grip - (a) The manner of holding a bottle of Cockburn's Port, a very common refreshment during Extreme Boule games.
(b) A players technique for holding a boule.
e.g. Player A: "Sebs throwing his boule in a weird way."
Player B: "He's trying out a new Cockburn's Grip"
(c) An obscure yet influential musical act on the Creamhorn Record's label.
To play under the influence - To play without the influence of alcohol. To play sober.
Goose - When the boule arrange themselves to form a V shape i.e. the formation geese adopt when streamline flying. A magical event when it happens in a match, which should be celebrated.
Dig In! - A call bellowed whilst the boule is mid air which hopes to encourage the boule to land with no bounce.
Carry On! - A call bellowed (often in a panicked fashion) to encourage a boule in motion to continue rolling and thus close in on the jack.
Jack Chasing - The art of playing boule whilst walking.
Canon-boule - To propel a boule with such force that it smashes into the terrain leaving a boule imprint.
Destructo - boule - The act of using a boule to smash your opponents boule (s) out the way, recalibrating the field of play and thus 'reseting the clocks'.
Reseting the Clocks - To reset the pitch i.e. to change the position of the jack and/or boules during a round.
Double kisser - To have two boule touching the jack. Pure magic.
Fecal - boule - When a boule is covered, accidently or deliberately, with fecal mater and still used in a round. Despite claims that a fecal-boule helps to put off opponents, there is yet to be any scientific evidence to show the advantages or disadvantages of playing with a fecal-boule.
High Jacking - The collision of two boule mid air. Can occur accidently, or as a deliberate act of aggression. It is believed that having a boule 'high jacked' can shatter a players confidence.
Swan Round - The unusual practice of creating a swan shape out of tin foil and resting the jack on the head. A very specialist play.
Presenting a Gift - When the jack is relocated towards the end of the game (the clocks are reset) into a new position away from all the boules, giving the next player an easy target.
Gift Snatcher - A player who takes the points when the jack is presented as gift.
Gentleman's Co-efficient - Proposed new rule that states players should receive points for consuming port during a game. Very controversial.
6.10.11
5.10.11
Archive Image
An image from the archives... pictured are three gentleman extreme boulers enjoying the pursuit in the mountains of Wales. Please note the unusual UFO in the sky, which seems to be crash landing.
Extreme Boule Art
The genre of Extreme Boule Art is an under appreciated and misunderstood artform. Below is a fine example from the Contemporary Extreme Boule Art scene by Extreme Boule Player artist Mr. Stanley Charles. There are many interpretations. Enjoy...
The World Rankings
Here are the current rankings in the Extreme Boule World Championship....
How it works...
As befitting the complex, emotionally draining game of Extreme Boule, here's how the rankings are decided, in a suitably complex, emotionally draining way. Never to be explained ever again...
a) A point is awarded for each opponent defeated. For example if you win a four man game, you get three championship points as you have defeated three opponents. If you finish second in this game you get two championship points for defeating two opponents and so on.
b) A bonus three championship points is awarded to the winner of the game.
c) A bonus two championship points is awarded to anyone who reached the magic boule number of 21 during a game.
d) Every point a player scores during a boule match will be added up as the season progresses. For every 10 match points the player obtains (whether in one game or added up over a number of games), the player will recieve one bonus championship point. For example if a player has scored over 10 game points during the season they will obtain one bonus championship point, if they pass 20 game points they obtain another bonus championship point.
e) Once all the championship points are added up for the player, this number will be divided by the number of games played by the player to get an average championship point score, otherwise known as Rattenbury Points. This score will be used to decided the rankings.
f) If players have the same Rattenbury Points and are therefore tied in the rankings, then the number of games played will be used to decide who has the higher rank (the more games the better). If players are still tied, then the rank will be decided on the ancient Extreme Boule Law of second letter of surname reverse order (i.e. Z is the best, A is the worst.)
g) If a player wishes to question this system please contact the Extreme Boule Administration Department using the following email: deardeidre@thesun.co.uk or by writing to the following address: Jack Rattenbury, The Rob Roy of the West, Smugglers Cave, Beer, Dorset.
- J. Murray ........................... 5 Rattenbury Points
- S. Murphy .......................... 2.5
- M. Hopkins ........................ 2.5
- D. Woolridge ...................... 2
- T. Wort ............................... 0.5
- S. Moss ............................... 0
How it works...
As befitting the complex, emotionally draining game of Extreme Boule, here's how the rankings are decided, in a suitably complex, emotionally draining way. Never to be explained ever again...
a) A point is awarded for each opponent defeated. For example if you win a four man game, you get three championship points as you have defeated three opponents. If you finish second in this game you get two championship points for defeating two opponents and so on.
b) A bonus three championship points is awarded to the winner of the game.
c) A bonus two championship points is awarded to anyone who reached the magic boule number of 21 during a game.
d) Every point a player scores during a boule match will be added up as the season progresses. For every 10 match points the player obtains (whether in one game or added up over a number of games), the player will recieve one bonus championship point. For example if a player has scored over 10 game points during the season they will obtain one bonus championship point, if they pass 20 game points they obtain another bonus championship point.
e) Once all the championship points are added up for the player, this number will be divided by the number of games played by the player to get an average championship point score, otherwise known as Rattenbury Points. This score will be used to decided the rankings.
f) If players have the same Rattenbury Points and are therefore tied in the rankings, then the number of games played will be used to decide who has the higher rank (the more games the better). If players are still tied, then the rank will be decided on the ancient Extreme Boule Law of second letter of surname reverse order (i.e. Z is the best, A is the worst.)
g) If a player wishes to question this system please contact the Extreme Boule Administration Department using the following email: deardeidre@thesun.co.uk or by writing to the following address: Jack Rattenbury, The Rob Roy of the West, Smugglers Cave, Beer, Dorset.
3.10.11
Sinister Summer Match
Sunday Lunch Match
Date: 02/10/11
Location: North Field, Clapham Common, London
Weather conditions: Too hot for October.
Extreme Rating: *
Dangers & Annoyances: Global Warming. Sunbathers.Date: 02/10/11
Location: North Field, Clapham Common, London
Weather conditions: Too hot for October.
Extreme Rating: *
Consumables: A bottle of hot lemon squash.
Mike Hopkins - 11 points
Darren Woolridge - 9 points
October 2nd on Clapham Common, the scene of a grudge-match between Hopkins and Woolridge. Hopkins' had a swagger about him which suggested that he had something to prove to the crowds, donning a elegantly erotic 'topless' style which hopefully will become his trademark playing style throughout winter.
Immediately, it was clear that Hopkins meant business, picking up 9 near-consecutive points. The heat obviously getting to Woolridge; he could be seen wavering, until the nutrients from a fizzy lemon iced lollypop allowed him a comeback streak with some truly formidable shots.
Hopkins used the terrain to his advantage and developed a backspin move which saw his boule stopping dead as if by magic, leading to a deserved win.
29.9.11
Sunset Duel
Date: 29/9/11 Location: Bute Park, Cardiff Weather Conditions: Unusually tropical Extreme Rating: * * Dangers & Annoyances: Aussie rule footballers, UFOs
Murray's pioneering spin boule bowl technique.
Result
J. Murray : 12
T. Wort : 10
Murray's pioneering spin boule bowl technique.Result
J. Murray : 12
T. Wort : 10
As the sunset in Cardiff, a tense game of Extreme Boule rippled through the sed
ate autumnal evening. Although the terrain was not hazardous, both players brought extremity to the contest through their choice of rounds. Murray's boule glistened, Wort's rusted into the unforgiven turf. Murray continues his domiance of the Cardiff Extreme Boule scene.
Shot of the Day: Murray landed within 30cm of the jack with a 20m over the crossbar beauty.
Latest Boule News
Wednesday Dusk Match
Date: 29/9/11
Location: Cock Pond, Clapham Common, London
Weather conditions: Shorts & T-shirts. Unseasonable.
Extreme Rating: * *
Date: 29/9/11
Location: Cock Pond, Clapham Common, London
Weather conditions: Shorts & T-shirts. Unseasonable.
Extreme Rating: * *
Dangers & Annoyances: Gluttony.
Consumables: Coley, Haddock, Chips, Mushy Peas. Old Speckled Hen. Diet Coke.
Darren Woolridge - 9 points
Sam Murphy - 5 points
Mike Hopkins - 1 pointNewcomer Hopkins struggled with the sass-mouth of the more seasoned players, finally brushing away the cloud of fear that had been shrouding his game with a sharp glugg of ale, allowing him a point. Much to the pleasure of the spectators, despite his un-sportsmanlike attitude. Murphy failed to regain the game the previous night had held and was left behind by the unstoppable force of Woolridge, who, despite being drunk and belligerent, held his aim true. (It is worth noting that the winning party had also consumed the most beer and finished the most fish and chips. Coincidence?)
28.9.11
Latest Boule Action
Wednesday Dusk Match
Date: 28/9/11
Location: St. James' Park, London
Weather conditions : Too hot for trousers
Extreme Rating: * * *
Date: 28/9/11
Location: St. James' Park, London
Weather conditions : Too hot for trousers
Extreme Rating: * * *
Dangers & Annoyances: Pick Pockets, Pelicans, Crazies & Drunks.
Consumables: Strawberry flavoured bacon sweets.
Consumables: Strawberry flavoured bacon sweets.
Result:
Sam Murphy 3 points
Darren Woolridge - 1 points
Sam Murphy 3 points
Darren Woolridge - 1 points
Four quick but tense matches in the watchful gaze of the Millenium Wheel and some hungry looking pelicans, Murphy quickly shattered Woolridge's confidence with a robotic aim, taking the first 2 matches with ease. Darkness stopped play.
27.9.11
Historical Match
Date: 28/5/11
Location: Edale, The Peak District
Weather conditions: Waterproof Jackets, Walking Boots.
Extreme Rating: * * * * *
Consumables: Flask of Coffee, Bitter Lemon, Holiday Bread and Flapjacks.
Result:
Mari Wort - 1 point
Pippa Cox - 1 point
Match Video:
Future memories from the past:
Location: Edale, The Peak District
Weather conditions: Waterproof Jackets, Walking Boots.
Extreme Rating: * * * * *
Consumables: Flask of Coffee, Bitter Lemon, Holiday Bread and Flapjacks.
Result:
Mari Wort - 1 point
Pippa Cox - 1 point
Match Video:
Future memories from the past:
Quite a crowd gathered for the match in the splash pool of the waterfall. Our lips stinging from the wind and copious amounts of bitter lemon, this match was to add a few layers of rust to the Boule set. Some admirable playing from the T.Wort and Murphy was trumped by the just aims of Cox and M.Wort. A blustery victory.
26.9.11
Latest Boule Action
Saturday Twilight Match
Date: 24/9/11
Location: Bute Park, Cardiff
Weather conditions : bare arms, covered legs
Extreme Rating: * * *
Result
Jim Murray 6 points
Tim Wort - 6 points
Seb Moss - 7 points
Both Wort and Moss endured a torrid time out on the pastures, both ending on negative points, as the sun set. The Port Bottle as Jack round, which is seen as a true test of boule courage, sent Wort and the Housewives Favourite Moss spiralling towards negative points. A buoyant Murray, now number one in the world, was seen drinking from two port bottles, which insiders claim is the secret to his success.
Post match interview with T. Wort: " I ate a lot of cheese before the game. £8.75 worth of cheese to be precise. I thought my aim was true but I flipped out when the port became a jack. Then there were two bottles of port, both as jacks. Moss lost it. Murray is ice cold. His hands are like ice cream scoops, which scoop boule, not ice cream. In a good way."
Date: 24/9/11
Location: Bute Park, Cardiff
Weather conditions : bare arms, covered legs
Extreme Rating: * * *
Result
Jim Murray 6 points
Tim Wort - 6 points
Seb Moss - 7 points
Both Wort and Moss endured a torrid time out on the pastures, both ending on negative points, as the sun set. The Port Bottle as Jack round, which is seen as a true test of boule courage, sent Wort and the Housewives Favourite Moss spiralling towards negative points. A buoyant Murray, now number one in the world, was seen drinking from two port bottles, which insiders claim is the secret to his success.
Post match interview with T. Wort: " I ate a lot of cheese before the game. £8.75 worth of cheese to be precise. I thought my aim was true but I flipped out when the port became a jack. Then there were two bottles of port, both as jacks. Moss lost it. Murray is ice cold. His hands are like ice cream scoops, which scoop boule, not ice cream. In a good way."
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