Aberdyfi Show Down

Kate Robinson launches a long shot on the unforgiving sands of Aberdyfi

Ten of the finest extreme boulers around gathered on the West Wales coast for a series of extreme show downs. Bouling down sand dunes, over wet sands, in mud flats and through rock pools this was a test of mental fortitude as well as skill.
The Godmother of extreme boule, Gwen Thomas, had the short game nailed, but lacked the distant shots. Catrin Hughes, an almost World Champion two years ago, showed glimpses of undoubted skill whilst rookie, Ed Hughes held his nerve well amongst the big guns. Sioned Jones, consistent as ever, could be an outside bet for this years title whilst Kate Robinson looked impressive duelling in the rock pools. Mei Howells, who developed his posture in nearby Aberystwyth surprisingly struggled along with training partner Fran.

Players attempt to master the mud flat suction conundrum

The biggest shock came with two time Champion, Rich Waterman, who played nadly throughout. Waterman looks a like a man haunted by the fame and prestige his titles have brought him-  he was a shell of the player the fans have come to expect.

Boule and rock. Rock and boule.

However two players shone most brightly during the event. Geraint Burrows continued his glorious 2015 playing the low tide sands like a banjo - he is now a serious contender. But the biggest news is the player who has climbed to the number one spot in the rankings after dominating the Eliminator competition - Pippa Cox. She has come so close to being champion before - could 2015 be her year?

Boule in 240 Frames per second

Extreme Boule Art

Extreme Boulers do battle on the wet sands of Rhossili

The Battle of the White Horse

The White Horse at Alton Barnes

This was a match sprinkled with some star dust – two world champions doing battle under the gaze of a giant chalk white horse, surrounded by burial mounds. If Darren Woolridge (2011 World Champion) and the Wizard of Edale himself, Rich Waterman (2013 and 2014 World Champion) were the port and fine cheese at this boule lunch, then journeymen boulers Seb Moss and Tim Wort were very much the slightly stale pork pie –  always present but surely not likely to anyone’s pick off this menu. But what was the glass jar filled with an unknown condiment marked X on offer? That was Huw Walters, a man who has bouled since the beginning of time but, incredibly, has never graced an official extreme boule match. He was an unknown quantity.

Waterman and Woolridge collect boule under the malignant gaze of the White Horse

 

As the White Horse of Alton Barnes looked down, the players bouled over meadow, tussock, hill and hole. The going was tough, but it always is, when dreams are there to be made.

 

Seb Moss contemplates his next move whilst sitting on the White Horse's eye

Wort crumbled, a shadow of the player who once duelled with Jean Baptiste Gressier, finishing scoreless. Woolridge, more shockingly, also finished scoreless, a man still haunted by the ghosts of 2011 it seems. Debutant Walters, impressed, his command of the turf impressive, irrespective of his constant desire for a more sandy terrain. Surely that leaves Waterman as the winner? Not this time. This was Seb Moss final match in the Northern Hemisphere before being deported to Australia. Moss has bouled for a decade, yet you can count his victories on one seven fingered hand. But on this day the boule gods smiled upon him. His aim was reminiscent of a young Perrot, his subtlety of touch like Gressier in his prime and he carried the luck of Grandad John. He commanded the field, playing the best boule of his career. He pleased the White Horse and this was the match of his life.

1.       Seb Moss

2.       Huw Walters

3.       Rich Waterman

5.       Darren Woolridge

5.    Tim Wort

Burrow's Masterclass

G. Burrows   21
T. Wort          5

This was a first to 21 long player on  Wort's home ground, Burrows having travelled from Oxfordshire. A quick check of the record books shows Burrows had never beaten Wort. In fact he had never before scored 21 - Wort has on 11 occasions.This was surely as predictable as an Extreme Boule match can get?

Burrow's takes aim

The terrain was lumpy, the turf producing unforgiving, unpredictable bounces. Whoever could adjust first was sure to take the spoils.
Burrows edged into a 6-4 lead, the ale easing his progression, flattening the uneven turf in his mind's eye. Then the decisive moment came. Burrows produced a glorious kisser near some bluebells, the cat very much licking his bacon. This was a psychological turning point for Wort - he was mentally deflated, retreating into a world of botchy boule. And so followed the best boule of Burrow's life - he scored 15 of the next 16 available points to cruise to an incredible 21-5 victory. For Burrow it means a jump up the World rankings, whilst Wort is left eating a pickled egg in a sauna.

Burrow's the 2015 World Champion? That doesn't show too far fetched on this showing!

Breaking News...

Latest breaking news from the world of extreme boules in Scotland!!! A new prodigy has arrived to our noble sport. Rowan 'Schiehallion' Topalian played and convincingly won her first game aged just 6 days!
A classic old school indoor first to 7 match was played on the 30th March, In which she beat her opponent (Stanley Topalian) 7-0 humiliating him publicly and making him the laughing stock of Succoth.
"I haven't been sleeping well recently" Topalian senior muttered as he departed the field of play, disgraced....
Waterman is said to be 'unfazed' by the emerging wunderkind....

Lunar letdown

Location: Southbourne, Dorset

Consumables: imperial Russian stout & Cuban cigars

Dangers and annoyances: lunar Rays and grass stains

Extreme rating: 1*

———

Match results:

D. Woolridge 8
A. Betts 4
M. Hopkins 4

Played by the light of a near full moon (and a halogen patio bulb) the match saw all three players shooting some serious botchy ball.

That didn't stop Woolridge snatching all the points he could gather whilst betts and Hopkins fiddled with their runcible spoons.